The Random Tale of Harry Potter
by naedanger
Summary: For the 'Why? Oh, why? Challenge' at HPFC. The randomness of Harry Potter, in a away that's never been seen/read before. From the Most Powerful Weapon in the Universe to a nice Umbridge, this is definately an exciting read. Rated T for future chapters
1. The Most Powerful Weapon in the Universe

**For the 'Why? Oh Why? Challenge' over at HPFC. I hope you enjoy it and please review! :)**

**Note: I do not, and never will (sadly) own anything to do with Harry Potter. J.K Rowling just allowed me to borrow the characters and I promised to return them back safe and sound  
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**Anyway here we go:  
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July 1981

Diagon Alley was packed, even more than usual. It was the annual 'back-to-school' rush, the time when all the young witches and wizards buy all their new supplies for their next year at Hogwarts. Business in all shops was bombing, the usual for this time of year, with demand for new equipment higher than ever. Out on the street, everyone was rushing around, trying to fit in a stop for every shop. However, there was one man standing in the doorway of an abandoned shop, taking in his surroundings, as people passing-by glanced at him. This man was about to introduce these ordinary witches and wizards to the most powerful weapon in the universe. Soon a group of people came out of the abandoned shop, and started to clear a space in the middle of the alley. Then they conjured up a small stage, just wide enough to cover the width across the alley. The crowds immediately came pouring in; clearly everyone wanted to know what was happening. After all, it's not every day you see a stage in the middle of Diagon Alley, especially not on the busiest day of the year. The sound coming from the crowd of people, on both sides of the stage, was deafening. It seems as if everyone was trying to hazard a guess at what was going on. In fact, some people were so busy talking that they never noticed a box coming onto the stage. Well, I say it was a box, when really it was a glass case. The case sat there, in the middle of the stage, covered over with a white sheet, for all to see. More people started talking, even louder this time. It seemed to take forever, but finally the strange man that was lurking in the doorway of the abandoned shop stepped on to the stage. He glanced round at the crowd, taking in each and every person. The crowd stared back.

"Now, I know what you're all wondering", he began "What is a stage doing in Diagon Alley? Well, I'm going to answer that question. But, you've all got another question, don't you? What is in this glass case? I'm going to answer that as well. Firstly, I am going to introduce myself. I am Alphard Terence, the head of The Department of Mysteries at the Ministry of Magic"

A few gasps were heard from the crowd. The Department of Mysteries? No one ever talked about that, well not in public anyway. Did that glass case have something to do with it? No, it can't. The Department of Mysteries is, well, it's a department, full of mysteries, it says so in the title. A buzz of excitement was heard throughout the crows. Now this is going to be interesting.

Alphard smiled as he waited for the crowd to calm down before continuing "I have been doing some work with dragons, and it turns out they can do things. Extraordinary things. Things we probably would never even of thought of. They can invent powerful, powerful weapons that no wizard would ever think of using. Powerful weapons that are associated with muggles. Now, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, I bet you are all dying to see what is under this white sheet. Well, it is one of these powerful, powerful weapons"

Alphard walked over to the glass case and put his hands on the sheet on top. He yanked the sheet of, revealing the weapon. A loud gasp was heard from the crowd. This was the most amazing thing any witch or wizard had ever seen. It wasn't like any other muggle weapon they had seen or heard of, in fact it wasn't like anything they had ever seen or heard of.

"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, I give you, the most powerful weapon in the universe, created by dragons, a chocolate and vanilla ice-cream sword!"

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**Well I hope you enjoyed the first chapter. Sorry it's so short, the next chapters will definitely be longer. I will try and get the next chapter up shortly, may take a couple of days depending on how much time I have. Like I said at the start please review! :)**


	2. Are you hungry?

**So here's chapter 2 for the _Why? Oh_, _why? Challenge _at HPFC. Like I said, this chapter is definitely longer than the last. Please R&R :)**

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July 1991

It had been just over 10 years since The Most Powerful Weapon in the Universe was introduced to the wizarding world, and so far no one has even used it. I think it's safe to say it's a good job Voldemort disappeared before it was introduced, otherwise we'd be in trouble. The ice-cream sword has been locked away in a very top secret, and also very cold, location in Gringotts, the wizard bank. Alphard Terence had thought this to be a good place to keep the sword safe, after all you'd have to be mad to break into Gringotts, and their isn't a safer place anywhere, well except Hogwarts. Only a handful of people know the precise location in the vault, although it is thought to be in the furthest down vault in all of Gringotts. Obviously the goblins know where it is, but other than them only Alphard, Albus Dumbledore, Cornelius Fudge and Rubeus Hagrid knows the swords location. Alphard But, as usual with Alphard, he is becoming paranoid and thinks the sword has been in Gringotts for too long, even with Voldemort gone, the Dark Side were still at large. A short meeting about this was held yesterday about it. Do you want to know what happened? Well here you go:

_Alphard was pacing the room taking in his surroundings, as he always does wherever he goes. In the centre of the room was a round table with four chairs around. It looked as if each chair was pointing out one of the compass points. Cornelius Fudge was sitting at East, Rubeus Hagrid was sitting at South and Albus Dumbledore was sitting at west. That left North for Alphard. He advanced towards the table and sat down at his seat._

"_Well, why have you called us all here?" demanded Fudge._

"_I'm not sure if the sword is safe anymore" Alphard explained._

"_Not safe? That sword is in one o' the safest places in Britain!" Hagrid exclaimed "Only place safer 'as to be Hogwarts"_

"_Precisely" concluded Alphard._

"_Wait a minute, are you suggesting we move the sword to Hogwarts?" Dumbledore questioned._

"_Well, yes" Alphard said "Just as Hagrid said, it is the only place safer than Gringotts"_

"_But you are still suggesting that Gringotts is an unsafe place" said Fudge_

"_No, no, I'm not saying that at all!"_

"_Cornelius it's fine. There is a room beneath Hogwarts that the sword can be placed. A room that shall be guarded with all sorts of charms and obstacles. No student will ever come across it, let alone try and break into it" Dumbledore explained to Fudge "Hagrid will be able to retrieve the sword when he escorts young Harry Potter to Diagon Alley tomorrow"_

"_Very well then" said Fudge gruffly, rising from his seat "I hope you are right about this room Dumbledore" he said warningly before nodding at each person sitting at the table in turn, and leaving the room._

_A little thing you should probably know about Cornelius Fudge. He doesn't like change. And he doesn't like admitting he's wrong. This is probably the reason why he was so upset at the sword being moved. After all, it was him that suggested Gringotts in the first place._

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The next day came quicker than anyone suspected. Hagrid was up early, as per usual, and was already on his way to Number 4 Privet Drive to give Harry Potter his Hogwarts acceptance letter. Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry was the finest place in the world in Hagrid's opinion. He hopped onto his motorcycle and of he went. The journey took just over 3 hours, it was a pretty long drive from the top of Scotland to the bottom of England. Not even a flying motorcycle can go that fast! Most of the time was spent flying over suburban streets and watching people go about their daily lives. It was the 31st of July, nearing the end of the muggle summer holidays. Wait. Yes, that was correct. As Hagrid drew closer to Number 4 he began to decend, making sure to stray muggles would end up catching sight of him. He pulled up into the drive of the house and knocked on the door. No answer. He knocked again, harder. Still no answer. Knocking for the third time he finally got the answer he was after.

"What do you want!" demanded a short, fat man.

Hagrid glared at the man. Judging by what Professor Dumbledore had told him, this must be Harry's uncle. Was his name Vernon? "Erm, I'm 'ere tae see Harry"

"Nope sorry, no one called Harry here" the man said as he was about to shut the door.

"I believe there is" Hagrid said, straightening up to reveal his full height "An' I would greatly appreciate it if ye let me speak tae 'im"

He pushed his way in to the house, passed the man, through the hall and into the living room, the man following closely behind. He was met with a scream from a tall, lanky woman and a small, plump boy. Hagrid chuckled to himself "You mus' be Harry's aunt an' cousin. Now, what's yer names again?"

Before they could reply, a small skinny boy with jet black hair and glasses appeared in the doorway. He stared into the room at the scene unfolding in front of him. Hagrid turned round.

"An' you must be Harry, I'm Rubeus Hagrid, but ye can jus' call me Hagrid" he said "Been a while since I've seen ye, you was jus' a baby. I remember it well thou'. Anyway, I'm here tae give ye this" he handed Harry a letter.

Harry took the letter from the giant in front of him. He stared at it. _How can this be for me?_ He thought. He looked at the address. Written in clear text was the following:

_Mr H. Potter  
The Cupboard under The Stairs  
4 Privet Drive  
Little Whinging  
Surrey_

Well, the letter was definitely addressed to him. It was strangely accurate too. _But this can't be right? I never get any letters. _Harry turned the letter over. Emblazoned on the back was a logo. A logo he didn't recognise. He opened it and unfolded the letter inside.

"Well" said Hagrid "Read it out"

"Dear Mr. Potter" he began "We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry" Harry looked up from the paper in shock.

"Yer a wizard Harry" Hagrid said with a big smile "An' a thumpin' good 'un at the that, once you've been trained up a bit"

"He can't go!" screamed Vernon "I will not pay for some batty old wizard to teach him magic tricks!"

"Professor Dumbledore is one o' the finest wizards o' all time" said Hagrid, banding down to be Vernon's height "So don' ye dare insult 'im, or you'll 'ave me tae deal wi"

Vernon slowly backed away from Hagrid and hid behind the counter in the kitchen. Petunia followed but Dudley just stood and stared.

"Come on then Harry" Hagrid said with another big smile "You go an' get dressed, an' then I'll take ye tae Diagon Alley" Harry had a confused look on his face "It's a wizard shopping place. Fer yer supplies fer Hogwarts" Harry's face lit up as he went to get dressed.

* * *

Around one hour later Hagrid and Harry were walking down a busy London street. They passed a few shops, restaurants and pubs before Hagrid stopped outside one building on the corner of the street. He smiled down at Harry and walked inside. Harry followed. Inside the building, Harry could tell it was a pub of sorts. Except it wasn't your ordinary London pub. No, it was far from it. This pub was full of people in long cloaks and funny hats. Hagrid smiled at the bar keep how gave him one in return. There was one thing that Harry found amusing about Hagrid, he always smiled. Maybe a bit too much, but still Harry liked seeing Hagrid smile. The pair walked through a door towards the back of the pub. It led them into a walled of area. Hagrid picked up his umbrella and started tapping at some of the bricks. As the bricks started moving he smiled down at Harry. Harry just gazed in awe as an archway appeared before them. And through the archway was the most extraordinary place Harry had ever seen. It was a narrow alley, full of witches and wizards of all ages walking round, doing some shopping.

"Welcome Harry" said Hagrid "To Diagon Alley"

As they started walking up the alley, Hagrid started to act as a sort of tour guide, pointing out all the shops to Harry "There's Madam Malkins, where ye get yer robes. Oh, an' there's Flourish an' Blotts, where ye get yer books. An' here's Ollivander's, where ye get yer wand" Harry loved every minute of this "But before ye go intae any o' these shops, ye need some money. Come on then, of tae Gringotts we go" And of Hagrid went, walking further up the Alley towards a tall, wide, white building. Harry just followed obediently. Once inside, Hagrid continued walking. Harry was looking round wildly, trying to take in everything. Hagrid walked up to the desk and asked the goblin sitting there if they could enter Harry's vault "Oh, an' I've also got tae get summit fer Professor Dumbledore"

The trio, Harry, Hagrid and the goblin, climbed into one of the many carts and started heading down, deep underneath Gringotts and Diagon Alley. They finally came to a halt at one of the vaults and climbed out. The goblin opened the door, revealing stacks and stacks of gold, silver and bronze coins.

"The gold ones are Galleons, the silver are Sickles and the tiny bronze ones are Knuts. There are 17 Sickles in a Galleon, an' 29 Knuts in a Sickle. Easy enough tae remember" Hagrid explained to Harry, before he could grab too much money at once.

Once Harry got his money, they three jumped back into the cart and started heading even further down. The further down they got, the colder it got. Once the cart couldn't go any further, it stopped, right outside the very last vault in the whole of Gringotts. Vault 1969. Once the goblin had opened the door, Hagrid reached inside and picked up a large case. They got back into the cart and speeded back up to the surface.

Once out of Gringotts, Harry and Hagrid went round all the shops, buying all the equipment Harry would need for the upcoming school year. The whole thing took about 6 hours, Harry wanted to have a look in all the shops. Once they were back outside Number 4 Privet Drive, Hagrid turned to Harry.

"Now, I'll be back on September 1st at 10. Ye need tae be ready tae catch the train at precisely 11. I'll see ye then" Hagrid was about to turn back to his motorcycle, but Harry had wrapped his arms around him and wouldn't let go.

"Thanks for a wonderful day Hagrid" he said, his words half muffled in Hagrids large coat.

"Yer welcome" Hagrid said as he unwrapped Harry's arms from his waist "But I best be off" He sat down on the motorcycle "I'll see ye in September" And off he went, disappearing into the sky.

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September 1991

Hagrid arrived back at the doorstep at the exact time he said he would, 10 o'clock. This time, Harry answered the door.

"Hello Harry" Hagrid said, smiling down at the little boy as he walked into the house "Have ye got all yer stuff ready?"

"Yeah, I had it ready last week" Harry replied brightly "I can't wait"

"Well, we best be off"

Hagrid and Harry took the motorcycle to Kings Cross Station. As they were walking towards the platform Hagrid passed Harry his ticket. Harry glanced at it. _Platform 9 ¾ …?_

"Hagrid" he said glancing up as they reached platforms 9 & 10 "Has there been a mistake? I mean, there is no platform 9 ¾ there's only a platform 9 & 10"

"Well Harry, ye've gotta run straight at the wall" he explained.

"Well okay then" harry muttered under his breath. He ran at the wall, expecting to crash into it, but when he opened his eyes, he found himself on a new platform. A bright red steam train sat on the rails, and Harry watched as hundreds of children were clambering aboard, after saying _goodbye _to their loved ones. Hagrid appeared behind Harry.

"Go on then, get on the train or ye'll miss it" he said ushering Harry towards the train.

They said goodbye and Harry climbed aboard. He searched for a carriage, found one, and sat down in it. He sat by himself for a couple of minutes before a small red-haired boy appeared at the doorway.

"Do you mind if I join you?" he asked "It's just, everywhere else is full"

"Sure, why not?" Harry replied.

The boy sat down opposite Harry "I'm Ron by the way. Ron Weasley" he said introducing himself.

"Harry Potter" Harry said, only to be met with the shocked face of Ron.

"The Harry Potter!" he exclaimed.

"Yup" Harry answered, grinning in delight.

The pair sat and talked for ages before a lady appeared at the door, pushing a trolley laden down with sweets.

"Anything from the trolley dears?" she asked the two boys.

Harry pulled a handful of Galleons out of his pocket and turned to Ron "Are you hungry?"

Ron nodded his head enthusiastically. This was truly the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

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**So that was chapter 2, I hope you enjoyed it. Chapter 3 will be up soon. Please review! :)**


	3. Gryffindor Tower

**Okay so here's chapter 3. This is another short chapter, and I apologise. It's the only way I could think of to get Gryffindor Tower into the story, without having to change the rest of it. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the chapter and please review! :)**

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September 1991

The train arrived at Hogwarts a mere 1 hour later. Harry and Ron clambered off of the train and looked around wondering where they were supposed to go. All of a sudden they heard a voice shouting out" Firs' years! Firs' years over 'ere!" They turned in the direction the voice was coming from and Harry immediately recognised Hagrid standing at the opposite end of the platform. The pair walked towards him and smiled up at the giant.

"Hello Harry" Hagrid smiled down at them "An' who's this then?"

"Ron Weasley" Ron and Harry replied at the same time.

"Ah, another Weasley eh?" Hagrid chuckled "I know yer brothers well. Hope ye ain't as much o' a trouble maker as Fred an' George are." Hagrid turned to rest of the gathered first years "Come on you lot. Follow me"

Hagrid lead the group of first years of the platform and down towards the lake. A group of boats were sitting waiting. "Now" said Hagrid "its four tae a boat" Hagrid clambered into one of the boats, easily taking up all the space.

Harry and Ron climbed into the boat beside Hagrid. They were joined by a girl with shoulder length bushy hair, and a boy sandy coloured hair. "Hello" Harry said

"Hello" the girl replied "I'm Hermione Granger and this is Seamus Finnigan" Hermione pointed at the boy beside her "What are your names?"

"Ron Weasley" replied Ron.

"Harry Potter" replied Harry.

The boats set of towards the lake and the four chattered constantly. After a few minutes, the boats turned round a corner and everyone stopped talking. They stared up at the castle. It looked like something plucked straight from a fairy tale. Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, their new school. The boats headed through a cave underneath the castle and they came to halt outside a door. They all clambered out of the boats, headed through the door and up a set of stairs. At the top of the stairs they met a strict looking woman. Everyone stopped and gathered in a crowd in front of her.

"Welcome to Hogwarts, my name is Professor McGonagall" she said "I'll just go and check to see if the rest of the school is ready" and she turned around and walked through a set of huge doors, which immediately slammed shut behind her.

"So it's true then" a boy standing beside the banister said "What they're saying on the train. Harry Potter has come to Hogwarts" he stepped forward, his bleach blond hair reflecting the light into Ron's eyes. Ron scowled at him. The boy continued without noticing "I'm Malfoy by the way. Draco Malfoy" he started walking towards Harry, ignoring the sniggers coming from some of his new classmates "and I don't think you should be making friends with the wrong sorts" he stopped in front of Harry and Ron, eyeing Ron up and down. _Definitely a Weasley _he thought. He turned back to Harry "I can help you there" Draco held out his hand for Harry to shake.

"I think I can manage on my own, thanks" said Harry dismissing Draco's extended hand just as Professor McGonagall walked back through the doors.

"We're ready for you" she said before leading the group of students through the big double doors and into the great hall.

* * *

Once all the first years were sorted into their houses the feast could begin. Harry went about trying to learn as many names as possible; he decided to start with his fellow first years. He already knew Seamus, Hermione and Ron, but there was also Dean Thomas, Neville Longbottom, Parvati Patil and Lavender Brown. There was also the rest of the Weasleys; Fred & George and Percy. He also managed to pick up some names of other Gryffindors; Katie Bell, Angelina Johnson, Lee Jordan, Corman McLaggen, Alicia Spinnet and Oliver Wood. _Thank goodness that Draco kid got put in Slytherin _Harry thought.

Once the feast was over, all the students headed to their separate common rooms. The prefects lead the way for the first years. For Gryffindor, they had Percy.

"Right first years, follow me and stay close" said Percy, making sure to be heard amongst the other students "We are going all the way up to the 7th floor to Gryffindor Tower" Percy started walking up the stairs, the first years following close behind "Be careful on the stairs, some of them move"

The hike up to the 7th floor was much quicker than Harry expected. They reached the top floor within 15 minutes. They arrived at the portrait of The Fat Lady, the entrance to Gryffindor Tower "Password" the portrait sang.

"Caput Draconis" Percy replied and the portrait swung open. He turned to the first years behind him "Remember that, unless you want to wait out here for some to come and let you in" and he walked through the hole in the wall behind the portrait. The first years followed.

Once inside the common room they all gasped in delight. This was better than any of them had ever expected. There was a big fireplace, lit and burning away, making the room nice and cosy. Big, squashy armchairs and couches were in a semi-circle around the fire, with a large coffee table in the middle, allowing students to do homework. By the windows there were more squashy arm chairs. The room was circular, and had a set of stairs leading off to the dormitories. There were no bare spaces on the walls as they were all covered in different tapestries, all were red and gold. The floor was covered in lots of different rugs, all in red and gold like the tapestries.

"Welcome to Gryffindor Tower" said Percy, and the first years immediately ran and jumped into the squashy armchairs, making themselves at home.

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**I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Again I apologise for it being so short. The next chapter should be up in the next couple of days. And also, after the next chpter I'm going to be doing a lot of skippig. Like it's going to skip to the end of their third year after the next chapter (which is Halloween). Anyway, please review! :)**


	4. Snape's A Lady

**Sorry it's taken so long for me to update. I've been busy doing stuff for school and never had time to upload it. Anyway here's chapter 4. I hope you enjoy it. Please review! :)  
**

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October 1991

Harry had been at Hogwarts for just over a month now. Him, Hermione and Ron were now inseparable and were seen together wherever they went. All the first years were enjoying their classes, but the only ones to really like potions were the Slytherin's. This was most likely because Professor Severus Snape, the Potions Master, was the head of Slytherin house and, therefore, favoured the Slyhterin students. Their first flying lesson was also memorable. It had actually caused Harry to be the seeker for the Gryffindor Quidditch team. In fact, he was the youngest seeker in a century. Every night, Oliver Wood had been training Harry to make sure they would win the first game of the season. It was now autumn and all the leaves were lying on the ground, covering the grounds in a blanket of red, yellow and orange, like a sunset. It was early on a Saturday morning, and Harry, Ron and Hermione we're heading down to see Hagrid, crunching all the leaves on the way. They arrived at the front of the hut in a mere two minutes. Hagrid immediately opened the door to let them in. He smiled down at them as they walked past him into the hut. The three sat down in the comfy couch by the fire and Hagrid pulled up a chair from the table and sat down facing them.

"So how's yer week bin?" Hagrid asked.

"It's been good, thanks" replied Harry "Nothing interesting happened though"

"Well, ye can't expect summit int'restin' tae happen every week, can ye?" Hagrid smiled "Tea?"

"Yes please" the three chorused.

Hagrid got up and went over to the cupboard. He took out four cups and the teapot. He made the tea, and put it into the pot. Then, he poured the tea into the four cups and brought them over to the couch, handing one to each child.

"Hagrid, we were wondering" Hermione asked, slowly, as if she wasn't sure she should be asking at all.

"What?" asked Hagrid taking a sip out of his tea.

"What's the most powerful weapon in the universe?" she finished.

Hagrid immediately dropped his cup of tea, causing the cup to smash and the tea to spill. Fang got up out of his bed and walked over to the tea, and started to lick it of the floor.

"Sorry 'bout that'" He said, slightly embarrassed "So you want to know about the most powerful weapon in the universe?" The three nodded in excitement "Right well, all I know about it is that it was created by dragons"

"Dragons?" questioned Ron

"How can dragons create weapon?" asked Harry

"Would you two be quite" ordered Hermione, hitting the two boys over the back of the head with her hand "I'm sure Hagrid was just about to tell us that" She turned to face Hagrid "Weren't you?"

"Ye 'course I was" Hagrid replied "Well ye see" Hagrid paused, a look of puzzlement fell across his face "Look, I'm not really the one tae explain it. Aplphard Terence is the man ye wanna speak tae about it. He's the one who discovered it after all"

"Well, how can we find him?" asked Hermione.

"Ye cannae leave Hogwarts tae find him. Ye should know that" Hagrid said "I've got a book about him if ye want tae read it. It'll tell ye all about his work wi dragons"

"Yes please!" Hermione said in delight and of Hagrid went to look for the book.

"Do we really have to read?" Ron moaned.

"Yes" replied Hermione "Have you found it yet Hagrid?"

Hagrid was rummaging around in all the different cupboards trying to find the book. All sorts of items came flying out of the cupboard, making a mess of the small hut.

"Hagrid" Harry said slowly "Is that it on the table?"

Hagrid stood up quickly and walked towards the table. He glanced at the book and saw that it was indeed the book he was looking before. He picked it up of the table and was about to walk back over to the three on the couch when he glanced down at the mess on the floor. He sighed and stepped round the mess, making sure not to trample on anything.

"Here ye go" he said handing the book to Hermione "Make sure ye give me it back when yer done"

Hermione nodded and the three got up and left, leaving Hagrid wondering where to start with the clearing up. They began walking up to the castle when Hermione stopped in the middle of the path causing Ron and Harry to crash into the back of her.

"Would you watch where you two are going?" she said irritably.

"Sorry" mumbled Harry.

"You're the one who stopped!" argued Ron.

"Only because I don't think we're allowed to have this book in school" Hermione replied "Look, it's pretty short, I should be able to finish it in a couple of hours"

"Yeah but we only want to know about the part with the dragons, and the most powerful weapon" Harry pointed out matter-of-factly.

"Well then, it will only take me 10 minutes" Hermione said as she walked over to the tree by the Black Lake, sat down and began flicking through the pages to find the section she was after. Harry and Ron followed and sat down opposite her.

After around 10 minutes Hermione looked up with a huge grin on her face. Harry and Ron looked hopeful.

"It says here that dragons can do extraordinary things. They can also create extraordinary things. It's because of dragons that the most powerful weapon in the universe" Hermione said.

"Well, what is it?" asked Ron.

"What's what?" question Hermione.

"The most powerful weapon" explained Harry.

"Oh right" said Hermione "The most powerful weapon is a chocolate and vanilla ice-cream sword!"

Harry and Ron stared at her. Did she just say _ice-cream sword_? The three decided they wanted to know more about Alphard Terence so Hermione read out the important parts of the book out to them. Once finished, they returned the book to Hagrid and headed up to the castle for lunch.

Throughout lunch Harry started thinking. _We know an awful lot about Alphard Terence, but we don't really know much about dragons. _He was about to say something to Ron but then remembered what Hermione had said outside. Once they had finished lunch and were out of the great hall, Harry pulled his friends to the side.

"We need to find out about dragons" Harry said.

"Why?" asked Ron and Hermione.

"Well, we know about Alphard and his work with dragons" Harry explained "But we don't really know much about dragons themselves"

"He's got a point you know" said Hermione to Ron. She turned to Harry "The library have plenty of books on dragons, we should go check them out"

And with that, the three headed off to the library to read about dragons, emerging only for dinner.

At around 7 o'clock, they headed down to the great hall for dinner. Everything seemed completely normal, although the tension is the air was obvious. Something was up, but the trio couldn't quite put their finger on it. They sat down at the Gryffindor table beside Fred and George. The twins were definitely trying to hide the smiles on their faces, but were completely failing. They were planning something, it was so obvious. The food appeared and everyone began to tuck in, everyone except Fred and George. They were sitting staring at the two large doors, as if they were waiting on something to happen. Just then, Professor Snape walked through the door except he wasn't dressed as himself. He was wearing a burgundy knee-length skirt, a long sleeved white blouse and black high-heels. The professor stood there staring at the students as they stared right back at him. Fred turned to Harry and whispered in his ear.

"You must have missed it" he said "I can tell by the confusion on your face. Professor Snape announced to the school this afternoon that he's really a woman!"

Harry's face lit up in absolute shock. Then he started laughing "You're planning something aren't you"

"You know me to well my friend" Fred said as he turned back to George and started to whisper into his ear. Harry told Ron and Hermione about Snape. Just as he'd finished Professor Snape started walking up towards the staff table at the top of the hall. Harry turned to his left, Fred and George had their wands out and was in the middle of saying an incantation. Once they had stopped, speakers appeared around the hall and they all started blasting out the same song.

_Well she's all you'd ever want,  
She's the kind they'd like to flaunt and take to dinner.  
Well she always knows her place.  
She's got style, she's got grace, She's a winner._

Snape reached the staff table just as the chorus was about to begin. He turned around to face the students.

_She's a Lady. Whoa whoa whoa, She's a Lady.  
Talkin' about that little lady, and the lady is mine._

The Great Hall erupted into laughter, stopping the rest of the song to be heard. Snape glared around at the students and went and sat down at his seat just as the song ended.

_Yeah yeah She's a Lady  
And the Lady is mine._

Everyone in Hogwarts went up to their common rooms still laughing.

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**So that was chapter 4. The next chapter will be up soon and it's going to be set in their 3rd year. Anyway please review! :)**


	5. I'm Not Human

**Okay, so this is a very short chapter, and I think the rest of them will possibly be short as well. Anyway, here's chapter 5. Please review! :)**

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June 1993

The moon shone brightly across the grounds of Hogwarts illuminating the castle in a chilling white glow. It was a mild night, not to cold and not to warm. There was a slight breeze, but it was a warm breeze making people's skin tickle if they should walk in it. The Whomping Willow stood all by itself in the middle of the grounds. Its branches were waving about like mad, a clear sign that someone had just been near it. Across at the Shrieking Shack, voices were heard radiating from the walls. There were people in there, and they obviously didn't care if anyone heard what they said. From the castle, the voices were muffled and were impossible to make out. But across at Hogsmade, the voices echoed around the small village making everyone there hear every single word, exactly as they were being said. A few people were saying the same thing. _Did those voices belong to Remus Lupin, Severus Snape and Sirius Black? _The ones that did recognise the voices had looks of absolute horror on their faces. Sirius Black was in the grounds of Hogwarts. Quite soon the voices stopped, and everyone in the village carried on with what they were doing. Back at the Whomping Willow, seven figures appeared from beneath its roots. Remus Lupin, Severus Snape, Peter Pettigrew, Sirius Black, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley and Harry Potter. A sort of fight broke out between Peter and Sirius, but Peter transformed into a rat, Ron's rat Scabbers to be precise, and scurried of into the Forbidden Forest. Remus looked up at the sky; the clouds were slowly moving back to reveal the full moon hidden behind them. He turned to Harry before it was too late.

"Harry" he said "I'm not human!"

And with that, he transformed into a werewolf, leaving the Harry, Ron and Hermione shocked beyond belief.

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**I hope you enjoyed the chapter, the next one will be up in the next few days. After that chapter there's only going to be 2 more! Please review :)**


	6. Mismatched Shoes and Mistletoe

**So here's chapter 6. I hope you enjoy and please review :)**

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December 1994

The snow outside was falling heavily covering the grounds of Hogwarts in a blanket of white. Hagrid was making his way up to the castle for his breakfast, leaving giant footprints marking the path he took. Inside the great hall everyone was talking about the Yule Ball. All the students were excited for it, and that even included Luna Lovegood. Everyone called her a freak. Everyone that is, except from Harry Potter and his friends in Gryffindor. _Harry Potter _Luna thought _The Boy Who Lived. I can't believe he actually talks to me! _She started staring across at the Gryffindor table hoping to catch Harry's eye, and when she did she gave him a big smile and a wave, which he returned gratefully. She sighed. _How much cuter can you get? _Staring up at the ceiling she saw that it was snowing. She smiled, she loved the snow. It seemed to bring everything to live. It made everything seem brighter and wonderful. And most of all, it looked beautiful just lying there covering the ground. Luna sighed and carried on eating her breakfast. _I hope Harry asks me to the Yule Ball _she thought, and gave another smile to him.

After breakfast the day just sort of whizzed past for Luna. It was a Saturday, and she spent most of the day feeding the Threstrals. After all, they weren't able to find food of their own in the winter. Half way through the feeding she heard the snap of a twig behind her and jumped. She turned round and found out it was only Harry.

"Harry" she said in her sing song voice "You startled me"

"Sorry" he replied, beginning to look nervous.

"Would you like to help me feed the Threstrals?" she asked.

"Yeah, sure" he said "Wait, what are Threstrals? And where are they anyway?"

"Their right in front of me" Luna said, puzzled "You can only see them if you've witnessed someone dying" she turned to Harry "Like you and me have"

"I can't see them, sorry Luna" he replied.

"Oh" Luna said, a look of sadness appearing across her face. She was about to turn round and carry on feeding the Threstrals when Harry said something that caught her completely off guard.

"Would you like to go to the ball with me?" he asked.

"Yes, of course I will Harry" she said not being able to keep the grin off of her face.

He smiled back at her "I'll see you tomorrow night then" he turned round and was about to walk back up to the castle when he spotted something "Luna, why are you wearing mismatched shoes?"

"Oh, I couldn't find a matching pair" she replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Okay then, well goodbye" he turned round and walked back up to the castle, leaving Luna to feed the Threstrals singing ever so softly under her breath.

Tomorrow night couldn't come any quicker for Luna. She spent most of the day figuring out what to wear. Eventually she decided on a floor length scarlet dress, flat red shoes, a red ruby necklace, bracelet and matching ear rings. She looked herself over in the mirror. _Perfect _she thought. She was about to leave when she remembered something. She walked over to her dresser and picked up the locket from it. She opened it up, revealing the pictures of her mother. She slipped it over her neck and kissed it gently.

"I love you mum" she whispered under her breath. She turned and left the room, shutting the door with a click.

She walked down to the Great Hall by herself, no one wanted to walk with her. Once down the stairs she waited on Harry. He appeared a few minutes after her. As he approached her he looked as if he was lost for words.

"You look beautiful Luna" he said.

"Thank you" she replied, blushing slightly "You look nice too"

McGonagall came out of the Great Hall and gathered the Triwizard champions and their dates "Now, you lot are going to lead the first dance. Well, what are you waiting for? On you go"

The eight students quickly went a made two lines, one for the champions and one for their dates. Harry and Luna were at the back. Slowly the Great Hall doors opened, allowing them to walk through to start the first dance. As they walked up the aisle, everyone gasped at Luna. It was true, she really did look beautiful. She smiled as she heard all the compliments she was receiving. They reached the dance floor and began the first dance. Soon after, everyone else began to join in until the whole school was dancing as one. Once the song was over, Harry led Luna away to the dance floor to get a drink. Once they had their drinks, they walked over to Ron and began to talk to him. Once the conversation had ended and Ron had gone back to his date, Harry and Luna turned to each other. Luna looked up, gazing at the night sky and caught a glimpse of mistletoe above her and Harry's heads. She noticed that Harry saw it too. Slowly the two leaned in, getting closer and closer until their lips touched, sending a burst of warmth through Luna. The kiss only lasted a few seconds, but that was more than enough to keep Luna happy. She would definitely be going to sleep with a smile on her face.

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**I hope you enjoyed chapter 6. Chapter 7 should be up shortly. Until then, keep the randomness alive! Please review :)**


	7. Umbridge and The Glass Building

_I am soooo sorry this took so long! I've been really busy with other things! But anyways, here it is! The final chapter in The Random Tale of Harry Potter! Enjoy! and please review :)_

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September 1995

The summer went quicker than Harry could off ever imagined. After his encounter with the Death Eaters in Little Whinging and the appearance at court, Harry felt betrayed that the ministry never believed him. _Thank god Dumbledore was there to help me _he thought as he boarded the Hogwarts Express. He walked along and found the carriage Ron and Hermione were in and sat down.

"Hi Harry" Hermione said not looking up from her copy of The Daily Prophet

"Hi" he replied as Ginny joined them in the carriage sitting in the empty space beside Harry "Hi Ginny"

"Hi Harry" she replied, pulling a book out of her bag.

The carriage was deadly quite until Ron piped up.

"So how was your hearing?" he asked.

"Fine" Harry said "Dumbledore got me off the hook"

"Oh that's good" replied Hermione.

Harry glanced at the front cover of the Daily Prophet. _Oh great I'm on the front page again _he thought. Harry sighed and stared out the window, watching the fields flash by as the train whizzed past them.

Nobody spoke for the rest of the journey. Once they reached Hogwarts they met up with Luna and headed up to the castle in silence yet again. They reached the castle and Luna headed off to the Ravenclaw table whilst the others went to the Gryffindor table. They ate their dinner before Dumbledore made his usual start of term speech.

"Welcome" he said "to another year at Hogwarts. We have a few changes to teaching staff this year. Professor Grubbly-Plank will be taking over Professor Hagrid's job as Care of Magical Creatures teacher for the time being. I am also please to introduce our new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher Professor Umbridge who will be joining us for the year"

As Dumbledore went on with the usual announcements about the Forbidden Forest and the list of objects banned from Hogwarts, Harry leaned across the table to Ron and Hermione and whispered "She was at my hearing; she was the one that convinced Fudge to let me off"

"Really?" asked Hermione.

"Yeah" Harry replied as Dumbledore finished the announcements and dismissed the school out of the hall.

The next day at breakfast they got their new timetables handed out. As Harry glanced at his, he noticed he had Defence Against the Dark Arts first that day.

"This is gonna be great Harry" said Ron eagerly looking at Harry's timetable as well as his own "especially if that Umbridge woman is as nice as you say she is"

"I never said she was nice, I just said she was the one that convinced Fudge" Harry replied irritably.

"Well if it was her word against the whole of the Wizengamont, then obviously she likes you" Hermione interrupted before Ron could argue. Harry just shrugged as the three of them left the Great Hall and headed off to class.

They reached the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom and went inside and sat at the back of the class. Umbridge was already standing at the front of the class giving the students a cheery wave as they entered the room. Once everyone was seated she began to speak.

"Hello class. As you should remember from Professor Dumbledore's speech last night, I am your new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Umbridge. Now, I'm not quite sure what you've already covered so would anyone like to tell me?"

Hermione's hand shot into the air almost immediately "Yes dear?" Umbridge asked.

"We've already studied The Curse of the Bogies, Cornish Pixies, Grindylows, Boggarts, Red Caps, Kappas, Werewolves, Vampires, Hinkypunks and curses including unforgivable curses" Hermione replied.

"Well, that sounds like you've covered a lot" said Umbridge cheerily "I think this year, we shall do defence. We will begin with some theory before moving on to practice them. Now if everyone can take out their wands, a quill and some parchment and copy what is on the board and then we shall practice it"

The room filled with the sound of chairs scraping along the floor as everyone reached into their bags to get out the necessary equipment. Then there was the sound of quills scratching on parchment. Once everyone was done Umbridge spoke again.

"Now, as you can tell from the board, we are going to be looking at Protego. So get into pairs and begin practising!"

The room was filled with the sound of chairs scraping on the floor, again, as everyone jumped out of their seats and found a partner. Umbridge moved the chairs and desks out of the way with a flick of her wand, so that they had the full floor space to work with. Every pair found a space and spent the rest of the lesson practising, with a few helpful tips from Umbridge.

Once the lesson was over, the students vacated the room, each one of them saying goodbye to Umbridge in turn.

"Wow Harry, that was brilliant!" exclaimed Ron "You were right, she's well nice"

"Yeah" said Harry, "I guess she is"

The rest of the week passed with great difficulty. So far, in every lesson except Defence Against the Dark Arts, they had received homework, most of it for the very next day.

"This is getting ridiculous!" said Harry one evening when the three were sitting in the common room along with their fellow fifth years.

"Well it is OWL year! What else do you expect" replied Hermione hotly "You shouldn't even be the ones complaining! I've got more work to do then you two!"

"Well yeah, only because you've got more subjects than us" Ron pointed out.

Hermione glared at him and returned back to her Arithmancy. Ron had his head bent over his Transfiguration, whilst Harry tried his best to finish his Potions essay on the properties of moonstone that was due the following day.

"Oh I give up!" Harry said, standing up "I'm going for a lie down" He glanced around as he realised the whole common room was staring at him, and headed off up the stairs. Once in the boys dormitory, he pulled his invisibility cloak from the bottom of his trunk and put it on, he also grabbed the Marauders Map, just incase. _Perfect _he thought, and headed off back down the spiral staircase.

He walked through the middle of the common room and turned his head towards where Ron and Hermione were sitting. Hermione was glaring in his direction whilst Ron tried to hide the smug grin on his face, failing badly. Harry stifled a laugh as he climbed through the portrait and out into the cool corridors. He began walking slowly, making sure to keep one eye on the map so he wouldn't run into anyone coming round a corner. But, as his eyes glanced around the whole map, he saw that every student was in there common rooms, every teacher was in their office, and Filch and Mrs Norris were down in the Entrance Hall with Malfoy. _Wait a minute _thought Harry as he stopped dead in his tracks. _Why is Malfoy out in the Entrance Hall at this time? And why is he with Filch? _But just as Harry was about to make his way down to the Entrance Hall to see what was going on, Malfoy started moving up the stairs. Harry watched as Malfoy drew closer, and closer. Just as harry was about to move out of the way, Malfoy turned into the 7th floor corridor, Harry followed him.

As Malfoy slowed down, Harry realised where his destination was. The Room of Requirement. Malfoy stopped outside a bare wall, stared up at it, then proceeded to walk past the wall 3 times. He stopped and looked back at the wall as a door began to appear. He went through it, and Harry slipped in after him.

The room itself was large and spacious, there was no furniture anywhere. Harry kept walking forward until he hit something. It seemed to be a sort of invisible shield blocking Harry's path. He stepped back a bit, and examined the air in front of him. It wasn't an invisible shield, in fact, right in front of Harry, stood an enormous all glass building. Harry gasped in awe and was finally brought back down to earth when he heard a shout coming from his left.

"POTTER!"

Harry looked to see who the voice had come from and was unsurprised to find Draco Malfoy standing there, a look of pure anger on his face. _Wait _Harry thought _how does he know I'm here? I'm wearing the invisibility cloak. Aren't I?_ Harry glanced down at himself and gasped. It seemed that, when he had walked into the glass building, the invisibility cloak had slipped right off him and now lay in a heap on the floor.

Malfoy started running towards Harry, swearing at the top of his lungs. Harry acted as fast as he could, and made a move that he thought was smart. He ran towards the glass building, opened the glass door and walked inside, closing the door behind him. Inside the building all sounds were muffled. He could still see Malfoy running towards where he once stood. Harry breathed a sigh of relief; he would never find him in here. He started laughing, but stopped abruptly when Malfoy opened the door and entered the glass building.

"HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE?" screamed Malfoy "YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO GET IN HERE! NO ONE WAS FOLLOWING ME! I CHECKED! TWICE!"

Harry just stood there and stared at the boy standing in front of him. He opened his mouth to say something but quickly closed it again. He was staring at Malfoys arm, as it was slowly raised, wand in hand.

Harry woke up a week later in the Hospital Wing to find Hermione, Ron, Ginny, Fred and George surrounding his bed.

"Harry, mate, what happened?" asked Ron nervously.

"I- I don't know" he replied truthfully "I don't remember anything. I only remember walking in to the Room of Requirement, and the rest is a blank"

And Harry never remembered what happened in that room, for the rest of his days. It haunted him that he couldn't remember. His imagination always got the best of him and he would spend most of his spare time thinking up loads of strange things that could have happened. But none of them ever came close to the real reason.

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_Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it! and please review :)_


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